Frustration? anger? i don't know....

These few days...i feel really uneasy......
(no no...it's not THAT time of the month)

I dunno why, but i often felt.....frustrated and angry....but i don't know why...
i've been trying to search for the reason behind this funny feeling, but till today, i still don't know why i feel so..

Frankly speaking, when riko called me to talk to me about the photoshoot....i didn't feel as excited as i was like last time...why is it so?
is it the stress?

I may look all smiley and happy outside..but at times, i feel really..frustrated..with...nothing!
that's the main problem.....
I keep telling myself.....
'tomorrow's a brand new day....it'll definitely be better than today'
but is that really true?
am i lying to myself?

Ok, i suspect that the frustration is due to my weight gain......well, at least i feel that i've gained weight...
i seriously feel my obsession with weight loss is slowly going out of control. I keep feeling that i'm fatter than yesterday, and my face is rounder than the day before......
I kept feeling guilty after having a meal, and thoughts of THAT slowly come creeping into my mind (though, i didn't do it....)
Is this a disorder? am i psychologically sick?

I can't afford to go on mental breakdown now....
oh...apart from that, i notice that my coffee craving is getting higher.....
i keep thinking of those beans in Starbucks, Gloria Jeans and the likes.......
shitz......i want to drink tea...but oh well, we've been forbidden to go get hot water during working hours....pfft....what more can i say?
the cafein craving is.......ARGH..!!!!!
ok, i'm gonna force myself to sleep now.........

btw, people who know me...please don't call me on my phone...i don't feel like talking.....
if anything, just sms me.....or email....i just don't feel like talking.....
don't ask me why i am like this, or what happened...
nothing happened..i'm just feeling....emo now....

Listening to : Pandora Hearts - Everytime you kissed me
Mood : Emo........oTL