Depressed, but i can't seem to pin point on what issue...

I've been feeling this for almost a month now.
I haven't been telling anyone about this matter. When i hang out with friends /family / colleagues....i can laugh and joke about.

but when i sit in the car and drive alone....i think of stuffs. Recent choices that i've made. Recent worries that surface....
I can't help but to feel helpless in situations like these.

for example, today was an outing with my group of very close friends, but somehow, i haven't been talking or responding much to the conversation as i always had.
I always feel that maybe i should just sit put and shut up. I try not to speak that much, and only listen.
There are lots of things that floats about in my mind, even now.

My relationship with my fellow not-so-close colleagues are getting worse, and my temper isn't getting any better.
When i reach home, i try to dash straight into my room, and keep myself couped up.
I don't watch anime, tv series or read manga or even cosplay that much anymore.

Everyday i worry about stuffs, but i can't seem to pinpoint on what.

Is this a phase everyone has to go through?
The 'maybe i should've done this', or 'maybe i shouldn't be doing that'...
I'm hitting the 30s in a couple of years, so is this like...a mid-life crisis?

Listening to : ------
Mood : worried (i dunno about what)

ALLADIN RUN 2013 ~~ AGAIN!

While everyone was sleeping, OR not asleep yet this morning (1st June), i woke up at 4am, to prepare for my annual Run, the ALLADDIN RUN, organised by DKSH.
(i have no idea if the name now is pronounced as ALADDIN, or ALL-ADD-IN....lol, a few of my friends were debating on the name after i posted up the running tee. but oh well....XD)

I gone on a hiatus on running mainly because my running partner shifted and transferred back to Johor Bahru.  Till now i've not found any running partner. Also, maybe age is catching up (LOL!) because i despise morning runs. I can never get enough sleep (even if i went to bed at 8pm the night before). i mean, come on~~~ waking up 4am on a weekend!? that's blasphemy~~~!!!!!

AHEM, but anyway...today's run was a different one. With only 601 participants, i could see a very clear and huge chance of winning top 3 in the run. I'd imagine that if i run consistently at my pace and finish 5km in less than 30 mins should suffice. It's enough, but not merely enough to beat the winner for the Female Open.

By the way.... I came in 2nd ^_^

I clocked in at 28mins (official time) for the 5km run, but the winner clocked in at 23 mins. I was neck-in-neck with this lady at one point of the run. We overtook each other a couple of times, but halfway through the run, i had abdominal pains again....which resulted me in slowing down and she pulling further away.

When she was approximately 25 meters or so in front of me, i knew it was too huge a gap to catch up. Unless she tripped and fell, or i started sprinting like a mad Olympic runner, i knew i wouldn't be able to catch up anymore.

Thus, i remained consistent at my current pace, and finally finished 2nd in my category.

Although i lost to the winner, i'm relatively happy because the time i clocked in beat my previous year's record (which was, 32mins for 5km). It was a significant improvement IMHO.

ALSO, what i was really delighted about was that i also beat the previous year's winner's runner and record. That girl came in 3rd, approximately 1min and a half behind me.

At least i manage to retrieve some consolation from waking up so damn early on a Saturday (which was, by the way a public holiday because it was the Agong's Birthday)

Got myself an extra pocket money of RM200~!!
(it's either going into my funds to get an iPad Mini, or my Japan trip funds)
i remember last year my winnings (which was also RM200) went to my Comic Fiesta costume funds. I was saying whether or not i cosplay, depends on whether or not i won any 'sponsorship' from the run. LOL

So yeah, here's what i got in my goodiebag this year~~!!

Quite a lot of stuffs. But originally i didn't get this bag. It was a funny thing. The MOST IMPORTANT goodie to me was the Famous Amos cookie. And the first bag i got HAD NO COOKIE IN IT!!

i immediately went to the officials (in charge of goodie bag) and said to her..

' THERE'S NO COOKIE IN THIS BAG!! THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT IN THE GOODIE BAG!!! CAN I CHANGE?!!??!?!?'

Obviously she let me change my goodie bag, else i would've thrown some kiddie tantrum..lol! COOKIES ARE IMPORTANT OKAY?!?!?!

So yeah, here's how i look after my 5km run.

Super RED~~~!! can feel all the blood gushing towards my head. LOL!!

and, MiLO, my baby, decided to snag the tag from me...

Beaming with pride

I'm not too sure whether i wana join this again next year. If i don't have any friends/colleagues joining i might not want to anymore. But we'll see.....who knows, i might need the money? XD

Also, my HR manager was there and before the run, he said 'IF YOU DONT GET TOP 3, DONT COME TO OFFICE ON MONDAY'.....i assumed it was a FREE LEAVE for me....so, Jymmy, do i still get my FREE LEAVE? i ended up top 3.....

Listening to : ONE OK ROCK - Re:make
Mood : Lethargic (i dun like naps)